Am I Crazy?: Dib's thoughts
by Penguin-Major Nora
Summary: PG-13 for use of d and f-words. You know what they are. Um, if you've read Gaz's thoughts, it's similar, but it's from Dib's POV. Just random babbling from Dib's POV. Please r/r!


Disclaimer: Zim is owned by Nick, not me. The songs in italics (the ones without * after them, the ones with * I made up) belong to their respective owners (Blink 182, Matchbox 20, Savage Garden (I changed that one slightly so it fits in with a guy, not a girl. Don't kill me). 

A/N: This is a songfic to a bunch of different songs, and some lyrics I just made up, spur of the moment. If you like it, read What She'd Never Trust To A Diary: Gaz's Thoughts. The following lyrics seemed to fit somewhere, I just don't know where to put them. 

_Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one_   
_They're saying_   
_Mama never loved him much_   
_And daddy never keeps in touch_   
_That's why he shies away from human affection_   
_But somewhere in a private place_   
_He packs his bags for outer space_

I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life. After more- as usual, they never stop- tests, I realized something. Irkens aren't built like us- they don't think the same way we do. They are incapable of trust, incapable of giving up, incapable of fear, and incapable of love. 

_I'm scared, and you_   
_Have never been scared before*___

It scared me to death to figure that out, I had never really had the mindset for dealing with something completely alien. I mean, you look at any enemy any human has ever had before, and it was something that had been dealt with for forever. Humans are humans, and they think like humans. Aliens do not. 

Zim does not feel compassion for mankind. He has no conscience, nothing to keep him from killing any, or all of us. I do- and that is, of course, my greatest weakness. Humanity's greatest flaw is, of course, what makes us human. Emotion is weakness, against something emotionless. 

And the battles go on, Zim still has what humans call pride- devotion- madness. A madness for his stupid goal of killing us all, for destroying mankind and anything associated with Earth at all. We might fight back, but human stratagies, human weaponry, is made for wars against humans. Aliens are always portrayed as humans, Hollywood would go mad if they knew what a real alien acted like. 

_I'm stuck in the middle_   
_Of black and white_   
_Good and evil_   
_And all the shades of grey*_

Humanity, again, screws itself over by being humanity. Maybe if they listened to me, maybe if they would think for a second about what I was thinking, then they'd realize that I wasn't making this up. Humans are so damn stupid, maybe Zim should take over the planet, destroy everything. It won't matter. I can't deside whether or not I care or not. 

_I'm not like you guys_   
_I'm not like you_

I'm scared as hell now. This is not what being a hero is supposed to be like. Heros aren't supposed to go mad and never save anything. Heros aren't supposed to give up and side with the enemy, are they? I'm not going to be a hero, you don't listen to me, you don't give a damn about me, you don't give a damn about yourselves, so why should I save your fucking lives? 

_You don't know me now_

It's funny, that the one that's the only one who realizes that if left alone, Zim will end everything, is an outcast among humanity. No one knows who I am, no one gives a damn. My life is going down the fucking drain over this, and no one cares. I guess the possibility that I could save Earth is the only thing that keeps me from going the same way Mom did- slitting my wrists. 

Gaz was close to that once, that scared me to death. I cared about her that time, does she care about me? Probably not. As I said, no one does. 

Dammit, I scare myself. What I am on the outside and on the inside. I look at myself in the mirror, and I look like some psycho freak, the trenchcoat and all. Maybe I can see what other people see. Is that what you see? 

As I said, Zim is the only think that's kept me from killing myself all these years. It's funny, really, that without him I'd be dead, and he's attempted to kill me so many times. 

Everyone calls me crazy. I've been taken to psychiatrists multiple times.. I tried to tell them what I was thinking, all about Zim and the fate of the world, but it's even sounding unreasonable to me now. Maybe I _am_ crazy. 

Am I crazy? 


End file.
